telling the truth is out-performing every business strategy i’ve ever tried.

9 lessons from 4 weeks of telling the truth of my story out loud

ok, so apparently as you’re trying something new, you’re also supposed to share what you’re learning. the substack coach people call it a building in public log.

this week marks exactly 4 weeks of my commitment to write the truth of my story out loud. to be completely honest, I needed a break from pulling from the deep well of my pain this week.

for those who are new here, we kicked this off 4 weeks ago with an essay called i’m so tired of being disappointed. since leaving corporate in 2022 to follow God, my path has been a cycle of building, putting myself out there, and watching ventures spin up and close down. i uncomfortably admitted that every time a project fails, it hurts immensely. the last project that broke my heart was writing the book.

God and I chatted and He encouraged me to use Substack as our personal “gym” to practice writing the truth of my journey. a space to practice radical honesty, build creative endurance, and process my journey in public.

ok, so what’s happened in the last 4 weeks…

1. literally everybody wants to talk about the truth of their story.

i have never received more text messages, calls, emails and dm’s in my life. it has been overwhelming. and these aren’t like hey, i see you writing, keep going girl. these are deep, vulnerable confessions, ok, your story reminded me of a time where…and i’m also struggling…and i can’t believe… and i’m so surprised… and i’m wondering if…

so thank you, thank you, thank you to every single person that has not only affirmed my own truth, but has shared their own back with me. i take days to respond to every single person. i sit with your words and respond as thoughtfully as i can. i am so inspired and deeply moved by your truth too.

2. something special is happening on substack.

this is becoming a place where we all practice out loud. i feel like we found the becoming side of the internet where everyone is processing what’s happened over our lives. we’ve been so inspired by the courage and bravery of people who are willing to tell their truth out loud and are willing to be seen ( Nyamwathi Adodoadji, sage rowan, Dr. Tadé Ayeni, CMIYGO by Gabrielle Pharms, Tiffany R. Warren, Candace Rodney, Aladrian Goods, Shelbi Jones and so many more).

for the last 20 years, i’ve followed and built culturally relevant moments and movements on social platforms. from helping Oprah transition from the Oprah show to becoming one of the most followed people on the internet, or building a social first editorial machine inside Netflix, to working at the fastest growing social startup in history, Clubhouse. we have instincts for this space.

and there’s no other place on the internet that allows for depth of practice, voice and experience. every other platform is trying to get us to say it quick, shallow and rewards chaos, outrage and gossip. with maybe the exception of youtube. but i think for Black women, the most educated, creative and resilient people on earth, being able to have space to breathe and let our ideas have room to express is really great for us. it feels like a digital renaissance and it’s deeply refreshing.

3. the most awkward thing that happens when i share an essay is people reaching out asking me if i’m ok.

they’re like, hey girl, you alright? i see you writing these deep, painful stories on the internet. i have to remind them that i’m ok and these are stories from the past that i’m pulling forward now. and my ability to write the truth about them in this way is evidence that i’ve healed. i’m good everybody! truly in the best place i’ve ever been, at least today.

4. the editor-in-chief of one of my favorite publications reached out…

about potentially writing for them. we couldn’t believe it. it has not turned into anything concrete, but we didn’t even know she was reading and let alone that she would consider me to write for them. it was just a reminder that you never know who is reading or who your work might get shared with.

if said EIC is reading this, let’s continue the conversation pls.

5. there’s a better return on my time and investment here.

literacy is alive and well on Substack!

12,000+ words have flowed through. good writing is just good thinking (hey, Liz Morrow). these words have helped me make meaning of my life and experiences in new ways i never could have imagined. writing is so weird and interesting because i always think i’m going to write about one thing but it turns into something i never could have seen coming in delightful and unexpected way. i’m learning, growing and healing deeply through the practice writing.

added 200 new subscribers + 20,000 views in less than 28 days. and we’re not really promoting this stuff everywhere else. i’ve posted the links to a couple of the articles on threads and linkedin. i’m too tired to think about instagram right now.

with subscribers is you get to keep the emails. on every other platform, followers can go away or they can decide to stop letting your content be served up to people who opted in to you. it makes us not want to spend time anywhere else but here and use the other platforms to encourage people to be here.

we sold $1200 in products in the last month. in the grand scheme, this is not a big number, or maybe it is to you!, but it’s a signal for something. we aren’t marketing them either. maybe you all reading this didn’t even know that there are services we offer. but through the practice of telling the truth, people are reaching out asking if we have more for them and we do! these offerings aren’t really even packaged up to be distributed at scale yet, but we are amazed that people are asking for it without us having to say anything about it.

6. my favorite piece to write was the Cannes piece.

i had SO much fun writing this. the epic adventures at shiny sisterhood fest! i was laughing at myself and just how ridiculous the whole thing was. it was also the piece that traveled the most and i think people could feel the fun and intent behind it. i think it resonated with people because we are literally just over it. nothing is what it looks like and we’re moving into a new season and era that everyone knows it. i literally received a voice note from a prominent exec who said they had the exact same experience this year.

hurry up and get to Cannes so you can realize it's not what it looks like

7. i’m learning what my creative process is through this practice.

in coming into agreement with being a storyteller and a writer, i’m excited to take more classes and study under greats. Kevin Stuckey* was so thoughtful and encouraged me to take Felicia Pride’s developing a writing process & practice. she’s the brilliant writer behind some of your favorite shows and highly anticipated A Different World sequel. she broke down the difference between a creative practice, a creative process and a creative career. i highly encourage anyone who writes to take it! it was a free webinar with the option for more depth.

these essays take me a whole week to produce every week. it starts with thinking about someone who we personally know or have heard from that has shared the truth of their pain and what they’re going through. then we create space to find an experience i’ve had that is connected to that pain. there are bunch of other steps, but essentially we’re always writing to only one person. in my drafts, i actually use their names to make it even more personal in the essay and then i remove at the end. i don’t know if this is a real writing practice, but it’s working for me.

*i will always be referencing Kevin. he is the co-pilot and co-founder of follow the leader. he’s being so gracious and letting me take lead with my creative practice right now.

8. i’m struggling with how to write about the truth of the journey without dishonoring the people in it.

i’m still learning how to navigate this. especially in this friendship massacre piece, we thought about what would happen the person i’m referencing saw this piece. could we defend it? in telling the truth, am i throwing them under the bus? it’s really important to us to not make these things about the people in it, but instead our experience in it. but it’s tricky. our lives are so intertwined with others, that we feel like this is something to master and learn how to do gracefully.

any advice on how to do this well?!

9. practice is the only thing that matters and the pre-requisite for everything else we desire.

practice is the doorway into everything we want but it’s the thing we resist the most. we want things to be done. we want to get to outcomes. but there’s something so freeing about it just being practice. like who cares! it’s just practice! what i love about it being a practice is the feeling of completing the practice. it’s not about is it good. or is it great. the metric that only matters is did you show up to practice today?

all of the weight of responsibility or worrying about getting things right have fallen off me. i’m having more fun than i’ve had in a really long time. it’s becoming the thing i’m fiercely defending and organizing everything else around.

so! my new goal is to stay in practice writing and releasing an essay every week for a year. or almost every week. giving myself 6 weeks of grace, like this week where we’re telling you what happened. so somewhere around 40+ essays to see what happens to me, to our work, what shows up as a result.

our promise is to keep you posted every 6 weeks or so. idk, it feels like we’re building a cool community of people who are in practice of telling the truth of their stories.

thank u for being here. and keep us accountable!

sending u so much love,

m

p.s. what else do you want to know? and what are you learning about your own writing practice? or being here on substack?